In life, everyone has their own set of problems. As for me, one of the problems I encountered is this inability to express myself properly. This is a very problematic issue if not solved. If I can master this art of effective communication, I hope it can improve the way I communicate or express myself. This is because, this is also one very important aspect of interpersonal skills, which I will have to employ throughout my life.
There are numerous times when I wanted to say something but in the end, I decided to just keep quiet and stay low. At that point of time, usually my thoughts will be "Ah, I think there is no point in me speaking up. I shall just keep quiet for now." There are also times where I was in a middle of something when another person just cuts into my conversation, hijacking it, leaving me with a topic I cannot wrap up. When this happens, after seeing everyone diverting their interest to this abrupt insertion, I did not feel like continuing my initial conversation anymore. I usually end up just sitting there, listening quietly or occupying myself with something that allowed me to stay low.
This is problematic as there may be ideas that I really want to share but is restricted by the way I put it across. In addition, it had a negative impact on the me as repeated failures eroded my confidence and the relationship between. Soon, I realised I was becoming more introverted and was less active (or vocal) during conversations. Thereafter, when I meet someone new, I became afraid to forge close bonds with them, as it pains me to see this new friendship fade out eventually.
This is because I treasure my relationship with my friends.
Although I do have a bunch of really good friends to whom I feel really comfortable with, who really understood me even without me saying anything, I cannot restrict my world to only these few people. The reason behind is because when I enter the workforce, I will have to meet a lot of different people and work together with them. If I cannot get my points across, if I cannot make my voice heard, then I will be no different than a piece of dead weight, weighing down the whole organisation. I hate it when I become a burden to others.
Talking about working with a lot of people, effective communication will prevent or minimise any potential misinterpretations of information. It will also be extremely useful in resolving potentially heated conflicts which may lead to disastrous endings. It will allow me to work more efficiently as well as I can understand exactly what is required of me.
Effective communication is one of the various soft skill that is good to be equipped with. Although I cannot say having such skills will definitely lead to a more fulfilling life, at least I am in a better position to review myself again and improve on my flaws.
Thanks for the detailed sharing, Berwyn. Indeed, possessing the ability to communicate effectively and efficiently is an essential part of our everyday lives. I'm glad to know that you have taken the first step towards finding out more about, and understanding this process.
ReplyDeleteYou mentioned that if you can master this "art of effective communication", you can improve the way you communicate and express yourself. A question - is 'communication' merely an art? Would you also say that communication is a 'science' too?
I noted a few areas you can work on to improve the clarity of your writing (redundancies, repetitions, wordy expressions etc) - can you spot the problems in the examples below?
1)"This is because, this is also one very important aspect"
2) "...keep quiet and stay low..."
3) "At that point of time, usually my thoughts will be..."
4) "The reason behind is because ..."
While elaboration is fine, clarity in expression is important too. Also, work on writing more concisely, writing within the 200-250 word limit.
I look forward to your next post! Thanks for the good effort, Berwyn!
Hey Berwyn, from what I've observed so far, I can see that you are actually pretty good at public speaking. Remember our first lesson when you were "thrown out" to the front of the class to speak? It was a very good effort on your part.
ReplyDeleteWith regards to the obstacles you face when speaking in a group, I have the same problem too (saw your reply on my blog). I guess the only way out for us is to keep trying, to keep going for it no matter what the outcome is like. I have felt embarrassed and irritated when I am unable to continue the conversation for some reason or another.
Nevertheless, I always believe that the quiet and soft-spoken ones are the thinkers, and when our words do actually get across, it will be words of gold and wisdom. When people start seeing that, then our words will have influence and weight.
Hey Berywn a.k.a bus driver!
ReplyDeleteIf the inability to express yourself is a problem,then I feel that it is a problem of the past!During your presentation on "the barriers of effective communication",your structure of presentation flowed very well even though it was so last minute!
As for the many problems you face in trying to speak up,I really think it is a common problem amongst all of us,me included.It gets worst when you are thrown in a whole new environment,out of your comfort zone!I agree with Junxiong that the only way is to break out of your comfort zone no matter what the circumstances and take the first step.Whenever thoughts such as "ah i better keep quiet" come to your head,brush it away and shout it out loud.I believe ES class will provide lots of opportunities for us to do that and boost our confidence.
I think we share very similar ideas on what serious consequences miscommunication can cause.I agree that by possessing effective communication skills,potentially heated conflicts,although not entirely attributed to miscommunication,can aid as a tool in mediating,or "calming the storm",instead of the conflict heading for worst.
Lets hope we learn to be effective communicators in this module!
Melvis:))
Hey Melvis and Jun Xiong,
ReplyDeleteFor me, i do not think public speaking is much of a problem for me. I do find more difficulty when speaking informally when in small groups, like when I am around friends.
That was what I found out.
However, in any case, lets learn from this module as much as we can. I believe this module will be able to teach us certain skills that we can employ throughout our lives.
To Ms Lim,
ReplyDeleteOpps. I forot about the word limit! Sorry for the lengthy post.
It never occured to me that effective communication can be a science before. This is because, my perception is that there is no one set rule in communication as everyone is different. In addition, there are a lot of things that I still do not know regarding this field. So people who can communicate effectively are like artists. Through their skill and creativity, they "paint a picture" that everyone understands. The result is like a work of art. Everyone immediately understands. It is like magic!
Saying so, it will be good to view it as "a science" though! XD
Anyway, thank you for pointing out my mistakes. I will take note of my mistakes. Do feel free to point out anything! =)
Hey Berwyn,
ReplyDeleteDespite what you think of yourself as a quiet person, I do feel that you are pretty good at relating to others. Remember the active listening activity we did in class? The topic you chose - some sort of mountain climbing - was rather interesting. I found myself engaged in your talking; but unfortunately with my task in mind, I must pretend not to be interested. However, I must admit that you are an interesting person. And I think people build up long-term friendship not because of how well they speak, but their qualities and personalities. I also realize that you also have the same problem as I do;that is not being able to talk in a relaxed position. I guess we need to relax a little bit when friends are around, talk about something that is less serious. My friends, even very close friends, have been telling me that I've been too serious. Anyway, nice knowing you in this module. And hope to learn more together with you. :)