Fernview St 32 Blk 243
#11-230
Singapore 990243
4th September 2010
To the person in charge
Laboratory Analyst Chemistry (1 year Contract)
My purpose for writing to you is to apply for a position as laboratory analyst chemistry, as mentioned in the advertisement on the 11th August 2010 on jobstreet.com. I am currently a fresh graduate with a degree in chemistry from the National University of Singapore.
Throughout my course of study, I have been trained to be proficient in various separation techniques, including gas chromatography and high performance liquid chromatography, which will be employed in your laboratory. This course in chemistry has also equipped me with the necessary skills to troubleshoot and ensure the success of an experiment. This also means that working in your laboratory will require minimal orientation and supervision.
From my extracurricular activities, it is evident that I can work independently or as a team. In addition, the roles and responsibilities indicate someone with good leadership and team player abilities. This means working in your laboratory will not result in any friction among other laboratory personnel, increasing the efficiency of the laboratory. My experience in meeting and managing deadlines will help your laboratory fulfill the requirements and expectations of customers. This can be seen from my role as an administrative specialist in the army, a role which is higher than what my maximum rank allows.
Baxter is a company that specializes in providing medical equipment, pharmaceuticals and biotechnology to better the lives of those in need. Therefore, there is a need for people who strive for excellence, takes pride in one’s work and self-motivated. These qualities are also a part of me. As a result, I believe I can contribute to your company through my abilities.
On my side, there is only so much that can be conveyed through this medium. I will contact you in a week’s time to find out if you need any additional information. If you want to reach me, my contact details are 1234567(hp) or berwyn@email.com. I will be very happy to discuss more about my skills and expertise with you.
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Yours faithfully,
Berwyn Chong
Laboratory Analyst Chemistry (1 year Contract)
My purpose for writing to you is to apply for a position as laboratory analyst chemistry, as mentioned in the advertisement on the 11th August 2010 on jobstreet.com. I am currently a fresh graduate with a degree in chemistry from the National University of Singapore.
Throughout my course of study, I have been trained to be proficient in various separation techniques, including gas chromatography and high performance liquid chromatography, which will be employed in your laboratory. This course in chemistry has also equipped me with the necessary skills to troubleshoot and ensure the success of an experiment. This also means that working in your laboratory will require minimal orientation and supervision.
From my extracurricular activities, it is evident that I can work independently or as a team. In addition, the roles and responsibilities indicate someone with good leadership and team player abilities. This means working in your laboratory will not result in any friction among other laboratory personnel, increasing the efficiency of the laboratory. My experience in meeting and managing deadlines will help your laboratory fulfill the requirements and expectations of customers. This can be seen from my role as an administrative specialist in the army, a role which is higher than what my maximum rank allows.
Baxter is a company that specializes in providing medical equipment, pharmaceuticals and biotechnology to better the lives of those in need. Therefore, there is a need for people who strive for excellence, takes pride in one’s work and self-motivated. These qualities are also a part of me. As a result, I believe I can contribute to your company through my abilities.
On my side, there is only so much that can be conveyed through this medium. I will contact you in a week’s time to find out if you need any additional information. If you want to reach me, my contact details are 1234567(hp) or berwyn@email.com. I will be very happy to discuss more about my skills and expertise with you.
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Yours faithfully,
Berwyn Chong
Hey Berwyn,
ReplyDeleteThis is a rather convincing application letter filled with so many compelling reasons for why you are suitable for this job. It is well-written and well-structure. However, you may want to improve on conciseness. I do find some sentences a bit wordy. For example, "my experience in meeting and managing deadlines" in the third paragraph, "meeting" and "managing" appear to have very similar meanings to me. How is the word count? Does this exceed one page? I do find it a bit long though. Other than the length, the rest are fine. All the best!
Hey Berwyn,
ReplyDeleteGood job with the application letter. It is concise and easy to read, with each paragraph having a clear focus. However there are two areas which can be improved.
Firstly, like xiao xing, I realised that there are times where more words were used than necessary. Paragraph 2: minimal orientation and supervision. Paragraph 3: roles and responsibilities etc. Try to replace with one word so as to sound more concise.
Secondly, in Paragraph 3, you state that under your charge, there "will not result in any friction among other laboratory personnel". While indeed its good to be confident, we need to be realistic too as friction is unavoidable. Hence, a better phrasing might be "friction among colleagues will be kept to a minimum".
Hi Berwyn,
ReplyDeleteIt is a good application letter as it is clear and well-paragraphed. It is good to show that you have a good understanding of the company.
However, it will be better if you can think of what kind of skills do they need and show your skills and expertise accordingly. Also some specific examples will make it more convincing.
Also, as Xiaoxing has mentioned, you may work on the conciseness to rephrase some sentences.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Berwyn,
ReplyDeleteWell done! I think your application letter is very well organized and very pleasant to read. I like the way you describe your company and how you mentioned that you will fit into the company.
From what I see, I guess it will be good to put some relevant laboratory experiences such as UROPS or internships to link up with the skills required in a lab.
I agree with Jonathan that some phrases and words might need to be looked into and replaced.
In the context of "This can be seen from "my role as an administrative specialist in the army, a role which is higher than what my maximum rank allows." Personally, I do not think a lot of people will know what is your maximum rank. I will like to suggest using "My skills in managing deadlines is evident when I was promoted ahead of my peers during national service"
Hey Berwyn,
ReplyDeleteYour application letter is indeed convincing, and will likely warrant a second look to it. The paragraphs are concise, making it easy to read and understand. Some points to take note of:
- Something minor, which is to write "chemistry" as "Chemistry" instead. Its a very fine detail, but it will show that you place emphasis on the subject.
- "From my extracurricular activities, it is evident that I can work independently..." This phrase needs revising. Saying, "it is evident" may have a negative sense to it, similar to saying "isn't it obvious". Some people may be offended, so its better to use something strong but neutral.
- "If you want to reach me..." It will be better to say, "I can be reached..." It will sound better.